April 25th, 2008. The sky will shine a bit brighter from here on in as a new star marks the night sky. Wishing you a safe journey Grams. I know we'll meet again and boy will we have some stories to share. I will miss you, but know that your life goes on through my memories and the memories of all whom you touched with your love, your laughter and your kindness. Now you are free to fly...
I heard this song the day you passed...I wasn't quite certain but felt as though you were with the angels as I drove and listened and said a prayer.
"In the arms of an angel, Fly away from here. From this dark cold hotel room, And the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage, Of your silent reverie.You're in the arms of the angel, May you find some comfort there.You're in the arms of the angel, May you find some comfort here.
Give Grandpa a kiss and hug from me. Miss you both and thank you for being such an inspiring part of my life.
xoxo
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
This One Is For My Grams...Blessed Journey...
Gosh...I just checked the date of my last blog and I can't believe that much time has passed again since I settled in. Shame on me! I spend so much time blogging for business, that I forget to take the time to BLOG for me and for you. Yes...I occasionally hear from someone telling me...I've been looking for new material...where have you been? Well, I have new material only its not my usual light hearted ranting and raving that I prefer. This is something I wrote over a week ago to my friends asking them for their support and prayers. I received numerous comments back...a few were more then special. My dear friend Nanette said it brought back memories of her own Grandmother Rose...My friend Cathy said it reminded her of a painting she once saw where a rose bush had grown through a brick wall and there on the other side it blossomed just as beautifully. Numerous friends commented that they cried when they read my words. I never meant for my request to cause tears, but apparently they were not just tears of sadness, but tears mixed with joy of memories long forgotten and for just a tiny moment...all of the readers were reunited with their special grandmas as if time stood still. I saw a friend the other evening who asked me how Grams was doing. She too told me she cried when she read my mail. She was so touched by what I had written and I said, you know...when I wrote it, the words just flowed and I couldn't believe how many ways that woman had impacted my life. It will be hard to say the final goodbye...but I am a big believer that this is just one part of a long journey and we will meet again....and here is my email...
Good Morning All; ( well it was morning when I started) I hope this email finds everyone well. I had a call from my Mom this morning. The hospice nurse doesn't predict that my grandmother will live through the weekend. My mother was shocked because she was just with her a couple of days ago and all seemed fine. My grandmother is in her 90's and has lived a good, long life. In fact...too long...she has had no quality of life for some time now and I have often prayed that God would take her. I have to admit that although I know this would be a blessing...my heart aches for my Mom and even though I have prayed for my grandmother to pass peacefully, the finality of it all is a bit difficult to grasp. So I ask that you just say a small prayer that God take her gently and wish her a safe journey. My Grandmother in her hey day was a fabulous woman...a true diva....she loved the life she lived secure and happy in the lifestyle my grandfather worked hard to establish and provide for her. I am told often that I am too much like her...she and my mother sure could butt heads...but I learned so many things from her and it really was her belief that it was okay to be spoiled...and I agreed with her. Bill on the other hand, nixed that belief right away when he sat me down and gave me the real life lessons I needed to learn...spoil sport! ha! No wonder Grams didn't care too much for him in the beginning. ha! She was a " lady " in the truest sense. She was the first one to teach me how to cook...( scrambled eggs were my speciality), she literally had me walk with books on my head up and down the long winding path of her garden walk so that I would have good posture ( failed that one ). She taught me how to enter and exit a car when dressed in a skirt and how to properly set a table with more silverware then you would ever use, but you had better know what each one of them was for. Elbows were not allowed on the table, your napkin was always on your lap and yes, you did extend your pinky. There was no such thing as too many shoes and heels were not an option...they were a necessity. Once when I had a hair appointment scheduled and the car wouldn't start...she phoned a taxi...a girl never missed her day at the salon. Gram's went faithfully every week and her hair and nails were always immaculate. She taught me to make a bed with hospital corners and is the reason behind my love of lysol. It occurred to me not too long ago that her breed is nearly gone away...I know of few women who aspire to be nothing more then a wife and a mother, but to Grams it was the most important job in the world and one she wouldn't have traded. It was as important if not more important then any CEO's. She had the patience of a Saint and I can still remember the goose bumps I would get when she took the time to gently brush my oh so naturally curly hair being careful to not once let the brush tug a tangle. Unlike my mom who would bop me on the back of the head for wiggling around too much. She taught me how to waltz, cha-cha and commit every horrible move of the chicken dance and alley cat so that I was primed and ready for every Italian wedding. She never once cursed when we were growing up ( she eventually did in much older age and could let one rip at times causing you to nearly burst out laughing). Her famous sayings when angry were..." Oh Sugar! " and " never mind the hooey!" We ( her 6 close knit grandchildren) never could figure out what the hooey was...but we tried diligently to never mind it. Her home was always magical...it was huge and beautiful. Many a day was spent running through the massive sprinklers scattered all through her yard...even though we had a built in pool in our own backyard there was something about those sprinklers. And when we tired from running through them...she would bundle each of us in a towel and feed us fruit or fix us chocolate milk that we would enjoy out on the patio. You didn't however sit on the concrete stairs without getting a piece of newspaper from the tool shed first. Sitting on concrete was a major no-no...you'd get hemorrhoids she would always warn. I can't tell you how many times I packed my bag to " run away " from my mean, horrible mother. Grams would take me in and spend time talking to me about how wonderful my mother was ( and still is ) and that I should go home and apologize for whatever I had done wrong. This was always accompanied by a cold glass of milk and some Italian cookies. She would later laugh that each time I "ran away " I packed the same thing...just a bunch of underwear...never any clothes. Grams forever insisted that it was just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one ( failed that lesson too)...and the two greatest pieces of advice she ever offered were, #1. Never accuse your husband of doing something wrong on a business trip. If you carried on and on accusing him of doing something far from home...he would. She said a man's beliefs were simple...if they were getting in trouble for something they weren't doing...they might as well get in trouble for doing it. The second piece of advice was the most important organ of a man that needed constant stroking...his EGO. I can still remember the uneasiness I felt as Gram's offered me this advice when I became engaged...no one wants to have a " sex" talk with their grandmother...and that's where I thought we were headed. My grandfather died in their bed some 29 years ago and to this day I can recall every detail as if it were yesterday. I could see their house from my bedroom window...it was far enough away that I would need binoculars to get a good peak and many a night right before going to bed I would phone them to tell them I was looking for them to wave good night. There would be my grandparent's looking back at me with their binoculars that they kept by the kitchen window for our nightly ritual. We did this so many times and yet they still made the goofy faces and blowing kisses as if it was the first time. Gram's always had her silly rubber gloves on as she would be tidying up the kitchen...so I would get a pink or yellow gloved wave. And every morning on our walk to school, there she would be in the kitchen window again...her hair wrapped up in her " genie " turban with strips of pink hair tape securing the edges. A big smile on her face...a cup of coffee in one hand and the other hand waving and motioning the blowing of kisses again...you would have thought we were going off to war...not school. There wasn't anything that we could do wrong...even in trouble we had our good points. That poor woman came to my teenage defense more times then I can recall and even in my strongest of rebel times...she adored me. Once while coming to see me at a school play...as part of my character I had to sing a solo and at the end of it I had to light a cigarette ( wow have times changed ). I did just as I was suppose to and the entire theater was quiet except for my grandmother's voice yelling," Oh Gina...NOOOOO!" I can't believe how many memories have flooded my thoughts this morning with the realization that she will soon be gone for good. The last time I saw her, she didn't recognize me at all. She smiled politely, but she was obviously unaware of who I was. At a loss for what to do, I reached in to my wallet and pulled out a photo of my brother, sister and I taken when we were probably 3 and 2 years old...you should have seen the smile come on her face and the light that hit her eyes...my sister said do you know who that is...and she said those our my children...That's my Gina. For just a few moments she was a young grandmother and we were small children and she was happy. Then just like that...she closed her eyes with a smile on her face as if back enjoying memories of her own. I often wonder where her mind has been these past few years? I'm sorry I rambled on like that...thank you for sharing my story. Life is so strange and unpredictable...I found out the other night that a dear friend has been diagnosed with cancer...again. This will be his 3rd time after having almost reached the 5 year mark for remission. A not so gentle reminder that none of us knows what lies ahead or how many tomorrows are left...making today all the more important. Life without regrets...hope you are living one. I know I will.
At the posting of this blog, Dear Old Gram's...well, she's just hanging in there. I must admit, I've laughed to myself a few times about this. Gram's was ALWAYS fashionably late! You Go Grams!
Good Morning All; ( well it was morning when I started) I hope this email finds everyone well. I had a call from my Mom this morning. The hospice nurse doesn't predict that my grandmother will live through the weekend. My mother was shocked because she was just with her a couple of days ago and all seemed fine. My grandmother is in her 90's and has lived a good, long life. In fact...too long...she has had no quality of life for some time now and I have often prayed that God would take her. I have to admit that although I know this would be a blessing...my heart aches for my Mom and even though I have prayed for my grandmother to pass peacefully, the finality of it all is a bit difficult to grasp. So I ask that you just say a small prayer that God take her gently and wish her a safe journey. My Grandmother in her hey day was a fabulous woman...a true diva....she loved the life she lived secure and happy in the lifestyle my grandfather worked hard to establish and provide for her. I am told often that I am too much like her...she and my mother sure could butt heads...but I learned so many things from her and it really was her belief that it was okay to be spoiled...and I agreed with her. Bill on the other hand, nixed that belief right away when he sat me down and gave me the real life lessons I needed to learn...spoil sport! ha! No wonder Grams didn't care too much for him in the beginning. ha! She was a " lady " in the truest sense. She was the first one to teach me how to cook...( scrambled eggs were my speciality), she literally had me walk with books on my head up and down the long winding path of her garden walk so that I would have good posture ( failed that one ). She taught me how to enter and exit a car when dressed in a skirt and how to properly set a table with more silverware then you would ever use, but you had better know what each one of them was for. Elbows were not allowed on the table, your napkin was always on your lap and yes, you did extend your pinky. There was no such thing as too many shoes and heels were not an option...they were a necessity. Once when I had a hair appointment scheduled and the car wouldn't start...she phoned a taxi...a girl never missed her day at the salon. Gram's went faithfully every week and her hair and nails were always immaculate. She taught me to make a bed with hospital corners and is the reason behind my love of lysol. It occurred to me not too long ago that her breed is nearly gone away...I know of few women who aspire to be nothing more then a wife and a mother, but to Grams it was the most important job in the world and one she wouldn't have traded. It was as important if not more important then any CEO's. She had the patience of a Saint and I can still remember the goose bumps I would get when she took the time to gently brush my oh so naturally curly hair being careful to not once let the brush tug a tangle. Unlike my mom who would bop me on the back of the head for wiggling around too much. She taught me how to waltz, cha-cha and commit every horrible move of the chicken dance and alley cat so that I was primed and ready for every Italian wedding. She never once cursed when we were growing up ( she eventually did in much older age and could let one rip at times causing you to nearly burst out laughing). Her famous sayings when angry were..." Oh Sugar! " and " never mind the hooey!" We ( her 6 close knit grandchildren) never could figure out what the hooey was...but we tried diligently to never mind it. Her home was always magical...it was huge and beautiful. Many a day was spent running through the massive sprinklers scattered all through her yard...even though we had a built in pool in our own backyard there was something about those sprinklers. And when we tired from running through them...she would bundle each of us in a towel and feed us fruit or fix us chocolate milk that we would enjoy out on the patio. You didn't however sit on the concrete stairs without getting a piece of newspaper from the tool shed first. Sitting on concrete was a major no-no...you'd get hemorrhoids she would always warn. I can't tell you how many times I packed my bag to " run away " from my mean, horrible mother. Grams would take me in and spend time talking to me about how wonderful my mother was ( and still is ) and that I should go home and apologize for whatever I had done wrong. This was always accompanied by a cold glass of milk and some Italian cookies. She would later laugh that each time I "ran away " I packed the same thing...just a bunch of underwear...never any clothes. Grams forever insisted that it was just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one ( failed that lesson too)...and the two greatest pieces of advice she ever offered were, #1. Never accuse your husband of doing something wrong on a business trip. If you carried on and on accusing him of doing something far from home...he would. She said a man's beliefs were simple...if they were getting in trouble for something they weren't doing...they might as well get in trouble for doing it. The second piece of advice was the most important organ of a man that needed constant stroking...his EGO. I can still remember the uneasiness I felt as Gram's offered me this advice when I became engaged...no one wants to have a " sex" talk with their grandmother...and that's where I thought we were headed. My grandfather died in their bed some 29 years ago and to this day I can recall every detail as if it were yesterday. I could see their house from my bedroom window...it was far enough away that I would need binoculars to get a good peak and many a night right before going to bed I would phone them to tell them I was looking for them to wave good night. There would be my grandparent's looking back at me with their binoculars that they kept by the kitchen window for our nightly ritual. We did this so many times and yet they still made the goofy faces and blowing kisses as if it was the first time. Gram's always had her silly rubber gloves on as she would be tidying up the kitchen...so I would get a pink or yellow gloved wave. And every morning on our walk to school, there she would be in the kitchen window again...her hair wrapped up in her " genie " turban with strips of pink hair tape securing the edges. A big smile on her face...a cup of coffee in one hand and the other hand waving and motioning the blowing of kisses again...you would have thought we were going off to war...not school. There wasn't anything that we could do wrong...even in trouble we had our good points. That poor woman came to my teenage defense more times then I can recall and even in my strongest of rebel times...she adored me. Once while coming to see me at a school play...as part of my character I had to sing a solo and at the end of it I had to light a cigarette ( wow have times changed ). I did just as I was suppose to and the entire theater was quiet except for my grandmother's voice yelling," Oh Gina...NOOOOO!" I can't believe how many memories have flooded my thoughts this morning with the realization that she will soon be gone for good. The last time I saw her, she didn't recognize me at all. She smiled politely, but she was obviously unaware of who I was. At a loss for what to do, I reached in to my wallet and pulled out a photo of my brother, sister and I taken when we were probably 3 and 2 years old...you should have seen the smile come on her face and the light that hit her eyes...my sister said do you know who that is...and she said those our my children...That's my Gina. For just a few moments she was a young grandmother and we were small children and she was happy. Then just like that...she closed her eyes with a smile on her face as if back enjoying memories of her own. I often wonder where her mind has been these past few years? I'm sorry I rambled on like that...thank you for sharing my story. Life is so strange and unpredictable...I found out the other night that a dear friend has been diagnosed with cancer...again. This will be his 3rd time after having almost reached the 5 year mark for remission. A not so gentle reminder that none of us knows what lies ahead or how many tomorrows are left...making today all the more important. Life without regrets...hope you are living one. I know I will.
At the posting of this blog, Dear Old Gram's...well, she's just hanging in there. I must admit, I've laughed to myself a few times about this. Gram's was ALWAYS fashionably late! You Go Grams!
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